If I may play the me's advocate for a moment...

Lucifer had been having a nice day. A bottle of red. The galley. Something enjoyable to watch on his phone.

"Brother."

Lucifer had been having a nice day. And now he was up on the deck of the Rouge, barking into the phone. "Amenadiel," he said, "Don't you have a child to rear or something?"

"Charlie is fine," Amenadiel said, on the other side of the phone. "He's also in Los Angeles. As am I."

"Ah, so you've moved? How nice, LA weather is excellent this time of year," Lucifer said, already halfway to turning off the phone. "But this could have been an email. Now, if you'd excuse me, I have an excellent Orion Swift waiting for me--"

"No, I mean he is in Los Angeles," Amenadiel repeated slowly. "Our Los Angeles. Time has resumed flowing." His voice brightened considerably. "I'm so glad you've finally embraced your Godhood, Lucifer!"

Oh, no.

"Oh, no," Lucifer said.

[[ for them who live here, please ]]

Yesterday had been a shitshow in every possible way.

They had fallen asleep in a pitiful huddle, clinging and emotional and tired. Somehow, that made it even more of an insult that Lucifer woke up before noon, his arm slung around Duke and Octavia both, blinking blearily against the light.

The events of last night filtered slowly back into his mind. Along with it, the feelings of helplessness, guilt, sadness, and... anger? There was definitely some anger.

It was also definitely too early.

Lucifer tried to bury his face in Duke's neck. Maybe that would get the sun to go away.

[[ for those who are in the bed with him. nfb due to distance ]]

Why wasn't Dad answering His phone?! There was a reason Lucifer had given Him one! He paced through an empty Lux towards the door, irritated. "Come on, just answer the bloody phone..." He pushed the doors open and stepped onto the street, and--

There Dad was, staring out into traffic like it was either something interesting, or He had something on his mind.

"Oh, there you are. So?" Lucifer inquired, pacing up to him. "Have You read any of the folders I sent You? Or... perhaps considered my proposal to sign You up for a dating site for seniors?"

Dad's attention peeled away slowly from the passing cars, until it finally fell on him. "I did look at your dating site, and your... apps," he said, "But everyone is a few millennia too young for me."

"Right," Lucifer sighed. "Well, there's more ways to find someone. I'll track down a match for You, if it's the last thing I--"

"Lucifer," Dad interrupted. "You're not listening to me. There is and will always be only one woman I will ever love."

He was impossible. Lucifer was fairly certain He was being impossible on purpose, just to vex him. "Fine. Well, if you're going to be stubborn about it, I'll plan a different element of your retirement, then. Have you looked at Fl--"

"Son. I don't need your help," God said firmly.

Just-- argh. "I need to make sure that everything's ready," Lucifer snapped. "Unless-- You'd just like to name Your successor now?" Free them all from this endless purgatory, let Lucifer go back to his life...

"Stop trying to get rid of me," Dad snapped. "All will become clear with time. Now stop talking about my retirement."

Yes, this was going swimmingly. If Duke and Octavia decided they were sick of all this wavering and stalling, well, Lucifer wouldn't blame them one bit if they decided to toss him over the railing and go back home. Ugh.

[[ for those two, and taken and adapted from Lucifer episode 5x14, 'Nothing Lasts Forever'. ]]

Waiting for Father to get on and step down so that Amenadiel could take over the job had seemed like a grand idea in theory, but after a full week, it was beginning to get... well. Dull. So Lucifer had decided to spend this time on important pursuits. On developing himself as a person.

Which was to say that, besides catching up on all the sex he and Octavia and Duke hadn't had since Dad's return, he was... trying to explore a few hobbies.

"Enough with these silly distractions, Lucy!"

Lucifer looked up at his brother from the floor, where he sat bent over a bottle with a teensie, tiny boat in it. "Excuse me," he said. ( The impossible bottle is a time-honored craft! )

[[ this post taken and adapted from Lucifer episode 5x13, 'A Little Harmless Stalking'. for myself, me, i, and octavia and duke. ]]

It was time.

Lucifer and Amenadiel strode down the steps into the belly of Lux, their expressions determined, their words prepared--

"Are you positive you're ready?" Lucifer said, pausing abruptly to look at his brother.

Amenadiel blinked. "Yeah," he said.

Okay. Good. Lucifer sighed, adjusted his jacket, and pressed on down the next flight of stairs. Ready and willing to do what was necessary. Sometimes something simply needed to be done, and--

"...And you won't back down, no matter what nefarious mind games He tries to play, because we need to present--"

"A united front," Amenadiel droned. "I know. Don't worry, Lucy, we both agree Dad needs to go home."

Right, of course. Lucifer nodded, gestured with both hands, and then pointed onward. To Dad, and difficult conversation. With his older brother at his side, there was no way this could go wrong. No, not at all. He held up his fist, and Amenadiel bumped his gravely.

Together. A united front. Ready for--

"Oh, for-- he was just here!"

( Hey! Hi. Have you seen a rather large, attractive gentleman? Broad shoulders, piercing eyes? Heroic face? Looks a little like me? )

[[ for those two who are in LA. everything in this post taken and adapted from Lucifer episode 5x11, 'Resting Devil Face'. CW: explosion of a major NPC. he gets better. ]]

Yesterday had been a still being played out day full of musical numbers and Dad and a woman murdering her judgemental referee husband for entirely understandable reasons. Lucifer had gone to bed entirely wiped, tired, too exhausted to remember he shouldn't be naked with Duke and Octavia.

He was still in that bed, sleeping more comfortably than he had in a week.

Unaware of the man hovering by the edge of the bed with a large tray full of breakfast foods in his hands.

[[ for those two and once again taken from Lucifer 5x10! ]]

Yesterday had been... something. And while Lucifer may have managed to find some rest buried under the bodies of both of his partners, when he woke up early the next morning, his mind was back to a whirl of useless thoughts and worse emotions. So when Miss Lopez texted, asking him to come in on a case for old time's sake, he may have jumped at the chance.

Though at least he did tell Duke and Octavia before he went running off this time.

An hour later, he was standing in, of all things, a mini-golf course, watching Miss Lopez take pictures and fend off well-meaning colleagues who were trying to get her to take a vacation. She clearly wasn't doing well under the whole 'my boyfriend's a serial killer' strain, but he admired her dedication to just... puttering on.

Heh.

( Of course Miss Lopez wasn't the only one at the scene. )

( In which there is a Family Dinner, and someone walks in bearing grenades. )

[[ taken and adapted from Lucifer episode 5x09, 'Family Dinner', and preplayed with the amazing okteiviakom and betterthanaplan ]]