Lucifer's Los Angeles, Thursday

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer	"Brother, we need to talk." Lucifer was used to the baby paraphernalia by now, ridiculous at it was, and yet seeing his brother futzing around with a wool toque while wearing a large baby harness still managed to earn itself a moment of pause. "... Whenever you're done with... whatever you're doing."
Amenadiel	Amenadiel looked up from his spot on Linda's couch. "No, no, it's fine," he said. "I'm just making sure everything's ready for Charlie's big outing later today." He set the toque aside. "What's on your mind?"
Lucifer	Lucifer gingerly descended into the living room, glancing around quickly to see if his erstwhile nephew was actually around. No? No. "Father," he said. Was that really a surprise? Even if Lucifer had recovered from his breakdown last Saturday and was eager to pretend like that had never happened at all. "I'm worried."
Amenadiel	"I'm sure He's going to leave eventually," Amenadiel said, pulling loose one of the straps that anchored the harness. "Has He been hovering again?"
Lucifer	"He's been... trying to 'fix' things around Lux and my apartment," Lucifer said delicately. "Things that do not need to be fixed." He hesitated. "He's overcompensating."
Amenadiel	Amenadiel frowned. "That seems unlikely," he said. "What would Father have to... compensate... for?"
Lucifer	Another hesitation. Right, no, Amenadiel deserved to know. "He came to me at the loft a week ago," he said, "And admitted that... He's been losing control of His almighty powers."
Amenadiel	Amenadiel wanted to laugh. That sounded like a joke. But it was Lucifer, and he looked serious. Kept looking serious. And Lucifer didn't lie. "...How?" he said.
Lucifer	Why did people keep asking him that question like he had any bloody idea? "I don't know," Lucifer said irritably, "I just know that it's happening. It's why He kept-- turning everything into an off-Broadway farce the other week." He turned and walked towards Linda's liquor cabinet. "I think He may simply have been on Earth too long."
Amenadiel	Well. That was at least a less terrifying idea than their Father, the Almighty God, omniscient and omnipotent creator of the universe, was losing control over Himself. "Right," Amenadiel said, nodding. "I don't think He's ever been down here this long before."
Lucifer	Lucifer took a bottle of scotch out of the cabinet and poured himself a drink. "Exactly," he said. "So you agree. We have to get Him to leave, so everything down here can go back to normal. I can go be naked with my boat people, you can go back to fussing over dirty diapers, we're all happy." Since Duke and Octavia seemed not to care about the love thing, he could just... force himself not to think about it. And what it meant. Yep. It would be fine.
Amenadiel	"Okay," Amenadiel said, unstrapping the harness and dropping it on the sofa. "Let's do it!"
Lucifer	"Yes, good, that's the spirit," Lucifer said, lifting his glass. "To getting Father to leave. Right now." A short pause.
Amenadiel	"... We should probably practice first," Amenadiel said, halfway off the couch. "You know. Get our stories straight."
Lucifer	Ah, yes. "Make sure that we don't... wind up quibbling about the details in front of him."
Amenadiel	"We'll provide a united front."
Lucifer	"Exactly," Lucifer said, pointing at him. "Practice first, telling Dad to fuck off later."
Amenadiel	"Mm."

Lucifer	He met up with the Detective on a bench not far from the precinct. Lucifer may not have been in the mood recently to continue consulting, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the chance to see her more often. General... relationship awkwardness notwithstanding. "Here you go," he said, holding out the cup. "One tall non-fat almond milk latte for the Detective."
Chloe	She was trying. Her best. With the whole... relationship awkwardness. Still, Chloe couldn't quite make that smile bigger than it was as she took the cup. "How are you holding up?" she asked.
Lucifer	"Well, Father still hasn't left," Lucifer said, sitting down next to her. He took the lid off his cup and poured in a little scotch. "I haven't reconciled my relationship with him in any possible way, and my-- well, you know, would probably be happier elsewhere."
Chloe	"I'm glad you're still here," Chloe said quietly. Complicated as it felt. "But the thing with your dad... I mean, it's only been a few days. Give it time."
Lucifer	Lucifer glanced at her. "It's been every day since the beginning of time," he said. "Perhaps some things just can't be changed."
Chloe	"I mean since you've tried to make amends." She absently snuck some of the whipped cream and caramel drizzle off the top of her drink with her fingertip. "You can't fix thousands of years of pent up issues overnight."
Lucifer	Lucifer sucked in a deep, uncomfortable breath. "I'm not sure there are enough nights in all of time to fix it," he admitted. "I think we may simply be too far gone." He hesitated. "...That I may be too far gone."
Chloe	"What do your, uh..." Chloe cleared her throat. "...Have to say about it?"
Lucifer	"They keep insisting they're not leaving regardless of what I can or cannot feel," Lucifer said, rubbing at his forehead. "That I can't get rid of them."
Chloe	"Good," Chloe said quietly. "That's... good. Because I still think you're wrong, Lucifer. No one is incapable of love. Definitely not you." Just... capable of falling out of love. Apparently. (If he'd ever felt it about her at all.)
Lucifer	Lucifer let out a loud, drawn-out sigh as he shifted against the bench. They were quiet for a little while. Only then did a thought dawn on him. "Detective," he said slowly, "Are you all right?"
Chloe	"Yes," Chloe said. "...No. I-- look, all of this is... an adjustment." She looked at him. At that handsome, smug face. "I just want you to be happy," she said. "And... and I want to stay your friend. I just need a little while to get used to the new normal, and... I'll be fine."
Lucifer	That didn't sound right. That ugly piece of guilt in his core grew another size. Who was Lucifer to do this to her? This beautiful, brave, strong woman. All because he couldn't do any better. "All right," he said. He was fairly sure he'd lost the right to pry, after all.

Lucifer left the Detective's side after her lunch break, thoughts and feelings simmering into a stew of useless goop as he strolled back to his car and drove home. Or back to his loft, at any rate. He walked into the apartment with a frown creasing his brow.

His mind might not know what to do with itself, his body told him he was thirsty. For something actually refreshing, this time. So he walked to the seltzer machine and got a glass out. Some soda would do him good.

Red fluid spilled forth as soon as he opened up the tap. "What the--"

Was that blood?! No, too thin. What--

He stuck his head under the machine and tried a sip. Wine. Red wine. He turned the machine off abruptly and raised his voice. "Dad?!" he yelled. "Did you turn my seltzer machine into a bloody Pinot Noir dispenser?!"

Of course He had.

[[ open for phone calls and those who are here. some snippets of dialogue under the cut taken from Lucifer 5x10 'Bloody Celestial Karaoke Jam' ]]

Comments

[texted3times]

Pretty sure a raccoon sucked your piano down a hole into hell, Eric texted helpfully. Your doing?

He frowned, then added, Took the rest of the bar, too.

[my_own_advocate]

OH NOW WHAT IS FATHER DOING???

Sorry, Eric. Lucifer was having another Moment.

[texted3times]

...your dad works through raccoons.

Sure. Made as much sense of anything.

Plague of frogs too old fashioned?

[my_own_advocate]

Last week He made everyone communicate their feelings through song and dance I will not put anything past Him.

Beat.

Remember the man designed the platypus

[texted3times]

And also tried all the drugs before they launched down here? Eric guessed. Answers the question of how your trip has been, too.

[my_own_advocate]

I am desperately trying to get Him to leave.

That about summed it up.

Throwing my piano down a hole is downright benign to what He's been up to

[texted3times]

Do I want to ask? Eric asked.

[my_own_advocate]

I just came home to find He's rigged my seltzer machine to produce Pinot Noir.

His Father was impossible.

Are you lot having a Week again?

[texted3times]

We started having a week a few weeks ago. We're now having a July.

[my_own_advocate]

Hm. And here I always quite liked July, Lucifer commented.

[texted3times]

"It's mostly down a hole, Eric said. But not the coffee shop. Proof your dad has a sense of humor?

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer groaned. Don't mention coffee and my Father in the same sentence together again, he texted. Do we have any idea about the damage or should I just write a check to build a new one

[texted3times]

Send a check, Eric said. A big one.

He might even spend it on the bar!

[okteiviakom]

Had Octavia been reading on the couch again?

... Well, yes, but also no. She'd been reading on the floor, with her legs up on the couch. Like a weirdo.

And it was from there that she tried peering towards where Lucifer was. "So I guess I'm not drinking any more seltzer."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer sighed. "I can get a new machine in," he said, "Since Father isn't likely to listen to me and actually fix this one."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia shrugged, as best as she could in her current position.

"Don't really care that much about seltzer, anyway."

[my_own_advocate]

"I'll get you other nice sodas?" Lucifer tried, collapsing on the couch right next to her legs.

Octavia doing things at weird angles was normal and not anything that needed comment.

[okteiviakom]

Damn right.

Octavia crossed her legs at the ankle, and rested the book on her chest. "Fine by me," she said. "How was Amenadiel?"

[my_own_advocate]

"Dadding to the extreme, as per usual," Lucifer said. He dropped a companionable arm on her legs. (Avoiding touching them had been a losing battle since Dad-- well. Told him.)

[okteiviakom]

"Good," Octavia decided. "He seems to be doing okay at that."

In comparison with Charlie's grandfather, at the very least.

[my_own_advocate]

"He's actually trying to put in an effort," Lucifer said. "That appears to help."

[okteiviakom]

"It's better than just assuming he knows everything," Octavia replied. Mildly, but like she was thinking about something.

Which she was.

"I talked to Liam, a little while back," she added, eventually. "He's a dad now, too."

[my_own_advocate]

"Who's Liam?"

Lucifer had not particularly paid attention to Liam, no.

[okteiviakom]

"A friend," Octavia said, unsurprised. "Or at least we used to be."

She hadn't exactly bounced right back into all her old relationships when she'd come back, had she?

[my_own_advocate]

"And now he has some kind of infant," Lucifer said, nodding.