Police Station, Los Angeles, Wednesday Noon

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer	There was no real reason to stick around Los Angeles. And Lucifer knew that Octavia and Duke were eager to return home to Fandom, but he... found that he couldn't. Perhaps it was the dawning realization of just how irreparably broken he was. Perhaps he was just waiting for them to realize that. Or perhaps it felt like he had unfinished business here. It was that last thought that brought him back to the precinct, around the Detective's lunch hour. Going for a stroll, he'd told his partners, and he wasn't sure why. He wasn't sure why about any of it.
Chloe	To say Chloe was still rattled would be an understatement. The past two weeks had been a sudden wrench in her predictable life, the way... the way her life had been back when Lucifer had still been here. She dealt with it the only way she knew how: by working. She sat at her desk, flipping through a file as she idly made her way through a sandwich. A shadow fell across her desk. She looked up. "...Lucifer. What, uh." She fidgeted with her hair. "...What are you doing here?"
Lucifer	"I wanted, ah, to check in on you," Lucifer said slowly. "The last few times we tried to talk, well, we never quite got around to talking. And... we do have some unfinished business I need to settle."
Chloe	Oh. Oh. Oh, she knew what this was about. "Okay, yes," Chloe said, "We should talk. Uh... it was a spur of the moment thing, we were both... we hadn't seen each other in a while, and..." What were you doing, Decker? She rubbed her face. "And I missed you," she said quietly. "And I know it's my fault you've been gone for so long, that I asked you to, but, but I'm over it, and it was stupid to keep you away for all this time. And I'm sorry. I know you've been waiting, and..."
Lucifer	"Detective," Lucifer interrupted her, holding up a hand. "It's fine. It was the right decision, actually." He let out a quiet sigh. "I've come to realize," he said, "That my Father being who He is, and the way I was raised being... what it was... that I'm incapable of love."
Chloe	... Wait, what? "I-- sorry?" Chloe said. "...What are you saying, Lucifer? Because that... that doesn't sound right." It definitely didn't sound like the man she'd known and worked with for five years.
Lucifer	This would really be easier if all these humans would just accept reality instead of fighting him on it. "And so even under ideal circumstances, it wouldn't be right for me to... to follow your lead here," he said softly. "Because I know you'd need it."
Chloe	"Lucifer, you're not incapable of love," Chloe said. Had he talked to Linda about this? He really should talk to Linda about this. "I don't know where that's coming from."
Lucifer	"It doesn't matter." None of it did. Lucifer took a deep breath. "And things have changed, as well," he said slowly. "You know Octavia and Duke. They aren't merely my friends anymore, we're-- involved. I've told them it's better for everyone if we break it off, in the light of... what I'm like, but..." He steeled himself. "They refuse to so far," he said. "And since I don't have the capacity to make these decisions with my heart, I think... I think my head needs to acknowledge that it's not fair to them or to you if I... if I toyed with your affections accidentally, or..." Why was this so hard?
Chloe	Chloe was silent for a while. Part frozen at that revelation, part just... not wanting him to hear her heart cracking. "I understand," she said, looking down at her paperwork. "Glad we, uh. Glad we have that worked out." Woman up, Decker. You've missed him either way. "But... but I want you to know that... I'd like it if we could be partners again," she said. "Or... at least... if you want to tag along on a case, you're welcome to. I... I don't need space anymore."
Lucifer	"Okay," Lucifer said slowly. "If... if you're certain."
Chloe	"I'm sure," Chloe said. She was surprised by how much she meant it. "I... really missed you, Lucifer."
Lucifer	He smiled the tiniest smile. "And I you, Detective."

[[ can be open for phone calls. wrapping up some loose ends, woo ]]

Comments

[my_own_advocate]

"I'm, I'm afraid that I can never be what you need me to be," Lucifer said. "And-- and I don't think that's fair because you manage to be what I need-- so much."

[okteiviakom]

"But you've been what I need!"

Her voice cracking was bad enough, so it was for the best that Octavia didn't know how plainly visible the anguish was on her face.

[my_own_advocate]

"I," Lucifer said. "Oh."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia was giving him a helpless look.

She didn't want to ask this. But she had to ask this, to make a point.

"You still -- care about me, right?"

[my_own_advocate]

"Of course," Lucifer said. "Of course I do."

That question required no hesitation.

[okteiviakom]

Something unclenched. A little.

It came out as a quick exhale.

"That's all I've ever needed from you."

[my_own_advocate]

"I just," Lucifer started again.

His time to exhale.

"Nevermind," he said, reaching to pull her back into him.

[okteiviakom]

See, now that he was actually reaching, he was getting more than he'd probably bargained for.

Because Octavia was just straight-up climbing into his lap.

[my_own_advocate]

"Oh," Lucifer said, blinking rapidly. His hands settled on her hips. "Hello."

[okteiviakom]

At least she'd gone for sitting sideways instead of straddling him, this time? Just looking for that extra contact. Still going with what that sad and hurt part of her wanted.

Needed?

She was trying to tuck her head against his chest, either way.

[my_own_advocate]

Well. Hopefully his arms around her helped, as his hands slid up until they settled against her back. "Of course I still care about you," Lucifer mumbled pointlessly, pressing his face into her hair.

[okteiviakom]

It wasn't pointless at all. Not for her.

Her voice was very quiet. "Why do you think love is something different?"

[my_own_advocate]

"I don't know," Lucifer said. "It seems like it is." Felt like it.

[okteiviakom]

"It isn't to me," Octavia muttered. "Maybe I'm doing love wrong."

She didn't think she was.

[my_own_advocate]

"You're doing love more... 'achievably'?" Lucifer tried. "Perhaps."

[okteiviakom]

"I don't have a parent left to fuck with my head."

Octavia was pretty sure that was closer to the heart of the issue here.

[my_own_advocate]

"Mm, you're very lucky," said the angel who would soon choke the life out of a woman for daring to threaten his Father.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia sighed against his chest. "I just want you to know," she muttered, "that whatever you think you are or aren't capable of, it doesn't change how I feel about you. Doesn't change how Duke does, either."

Both of them just -- hurt for him.

[my_own_advocate]

"I know," Lucifer said. "That's... that's what makes it harder. Because if I can't... do this right, and you're still attached to me, then... I might end up hurting you for a very long time."

[okteiviakom]

"I don't get how you get to that thought," Octavia admitted quietly. "Hurting me how?"

[my_own_advocate]

"Because what if one day you do decide you need to hear me say it?" Lucifer said quietly. "Or Duke, he needs-- a lot."

[okteiviakom]

"I'm not going to."

She couldn't make that same promise when it came to Duke, though. But it wasn't her place to make one, anyway.

"I don't need words, I need actions."

[my_own_advocate]

"Well, what if I can't do what you need me to?" Lucifer asked.

[okteiviakom]

"Then we'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

Simple enough, right?

[my_own_advocate]

"I just don't want to lead you on until we get there," Lucifer said softly. He hugged her a little closer. "It hurts when you're-- hurt."