Police Station, Los Angeles, Wednesday Noon

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer	There was no real reason to stick around Los Angeles. And Lucifer knew that Octavia and Duke were eager to return home to Fandom, but he... found that he couldn't. Perhaps it was the dawning realization of just how irreparably broken he was. Perhaps he was just waiting for them to realize that. Or perhaps it felt like he had unfinished business here. It was that last thought that brought him back to the precinct, around the Detective's lunch hour. Going for a stroll, he'd told his partners, and he wasn't sure why. He wasn't sure why about any of it.
Chloe	To say Chloe was still rattled would be an understatement. The past two weeks had been a sudden wrench in her predictable life, the way... the way her life had been back when Lucifer had still been here. She dealt with it the only way she knew how: by working. She sat at her desk, flipping through a file as she idly made her way through a sandwich. A shadow fell across her desk. She looked up. "...Lucifer. What, uh." She fidgeted with her hair. "...What are you doing here?"
Lucifer	"I wanted, ah, to check in on you," Lucifer said slowly. "The last few times we tried to talk, well, we never quite got around to talking. And... we do have some unfinished business I need to settle."
Chloe	Oh. Oh. Oh, she knew what this was about. "Okay, yes," Chloe said, "We should talk. Uh... it was a spur of the moment thing, we were both... we hadn't seen each other in a while, and..." What were you doing, Decker? She rubbed her face. "And I missed you," she said quietly. "And I know it's my fault you've been gone for so long, that I asked you to, but, but I'm over it, and it was stupid to keep you away for all this time. And I'm sorry. I know you've been waiting, and..."
Lucifer	"Detective," Lucifer interrupted her, holding up a hand. "It's fine. It was the right decision, actually." He let out a quiet sigh. "I've come to realize," he said, "That my Father being who He is, and the way I was raised being... what it was... that I'm incapable of love."
Chloe	... Wait, what? "I-- sorry?" Chloe said. "...What are you saying, Lucifer? Because that... that doesn't sound right." It definitely didn't sound like the man she'd known and worked with for five years.
Lucifer	This would really be easier if all these humans would just accept reality instead of fighting him on it. "And so even under ideal circumstances, it wouldn't be right for me to... to follow your lead here," he said softly. "Because I know you'd need it."
Chloe	"Lucifer, you're not incapable of love," Chloe said. Had he talked to Linda about this? He really should talk to Linda about this. "I don't know where that's coming from."
Lucifer	"It doesn't matter." None of it did. Lucifer took a deep breath. "And things have changed, as well," he said slowly. "You know Octavia and Duke. They aren't merely my friends anymore, we're-- involved. I've told them it's better for everyone if we break it off, in the light of... what I'm like, but..." He steeled himself. "They refuse to so far," he said. "And since I don't have the capacity to make these decisions with my heart, I think... I think my head needs to acknowledge that it's not fair to them or to you if I... if I toyed with your affections accidentally, or..." Why was this so hard?
Chloe	Chloe was silent for a while. Part frozen at that revelation, part just... not wanting him to hear her heart cracking. "I understand," she said, looking down at her paperwork. "Glad we, uh. Glad we have that worked out." Woman up, Decker. You've missed him either way. "But... but I want you to know that... I'd like it if we could be partners again," she said. "Or... at least... if you want to tag along on a case, you're welcome to. I... I don't need space anymore."
Lucifer	"Okay," Lucifer said slowly. "If... if you're certain."
Chloe	"I'm sure," Chloe said. She was surprised by how much she meant it. "I... really missed you, Lucifer."
Lucifer	He smiled the tiniest smile. "And I you, Detective."

[[ can be open for phone calls. wrapping up some loose ends, woo ]]

Comments

[okteiviakom]

"It isn't to me," Octavia muttered. "Maybe I'm doing love wrong."

She didn't think she was.

[my_own_advocate]

"You're doing love more... 'achievably'?" Lucifer tried. "Perhaps."

[okteiviakom]

"I don't have a parent left to fuck with my head."

Octavia was pretty sure that was closer to the heart of the issue here.

[my_own_advocate]

"Mm, you're very lucky," said the angel who would soon choke the life out of a woman for daring to threaten his Father.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia sighed against his chest. "I just want you to know," she muttered, "that whatever you think you are or aren't capable of, it doesn't change how I feel about you. Doesn't change how Duke does, either."

Both of them just -- hurt for him.

[my_own_advocate]

"I know," Lucifer said. "That's... that's what makes it harder. Because if I can't... do this right, and you're still attached to me, then... I might end up hurting you for a very long time."

[okteiviakom]

"I don't get how you get to that thought," Octavia admitted quietly. "Hurting me how?"

[my_own_advocate]

"Because what if one day you do decide you need to hear me say it?" Lucifer said quietly. "Or Duke, he needs-- a lot."

[okteiviakom]

"I'm not going to."

She couldn't make that same promise when it came to Duke, though. But it wasn't her place to make one, anyway.

"I don't need words, I need actions."

[my_own_advocate]

"Well, what if I can't do what you need me to?" Lucifer asked.

[okteiviakom]

"Then we'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

Simple enough, right?

[my_own_advocate]

"I just don't want to lead you on until we get there," Lucifer said softly. He hugged her a little closer. "It hurts when you're-- hurt."

[okteiviakom]

"Do you think you've been leading me on so far?" Octavia asked, with a sigh. Burrowing closer against his chest. "Because I don't."

[my_own_advocate]

"I don't know," Lucifer said. He pressed his cheek against hers. "I don't know much at the moment."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia exhaled another sigh. Softer, quieter.

"Everything I told you last week holds true," she murmured. "None of that's gone away. Yu laik ai skaifaya. My Lucifer. And the only thing hurting me right now is the idea of you leaving me because you worry about hurting me in the future."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer exhaled slowly.

"Is that your way of saying you'd like to sleep on the bed again?"

Sometimes half-jokes were easier.

[okteiviakom]

"No."

She would very much like to sleep on the bed again, actually, but she wasn't as quick to switch gears to half-jokes as he was.

"It's my way of saying I'm not ready to give you up, so don't you dare try and make me."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer sighed.

"All right," he said. "But you'll tell me if--?"

What he did have to offer wasn't enough anymore.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia lifted her head. Pressed her forehead to his.

Closed her eyes.

"Always."

[my_own_advocate]

"All right," Lucifer said.

His eyes closed.

[okteiviakom]

Apart from her hand sneaking up to the back of his head, Octavia stayed where she was.

Just breathing. Just feeling.

Maybe they both needed something like that right now.

[my_own_advocate]

They did.

Even if Lucifer had to fight off an array of ifs and buts right now.

Her hand helped.

[okteiviakom]

Her fingers moved slowly back and forth through his hair. Slow and soothing and repetitive.

Like a mantra in motion.

And maybe it was. Octavia put most of her focus towards it, in the hopes that it would soothe some of her worries, too.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer drew patterns on her arm.

Sometimes they followed the lines of the tattoos.

Oftentimes they didn't.

[okteiviakom]

It was hard for Octavia to tell, anyway. She just let the contact wash over her.

She would take everything she could get.