Voicemail

[my_own_advocate]

"Do people actually still use voicemail? How charmingly backwards. Leave me a message, or better yet, invest in an instant messenger app and join us in the 21st century. Cheers!"

He didn't need to mention his name with a message like that, did he?

Comments

[betterthanaplan]

In the predawn hours of Friday morning, Lucifer got a short text:

shes back

[my_own_advocate]

How? Where? Does your religion prohibit the sharing of details and context?!

[betterthanaplan]

dont know. On my boat. She just walked back in

Looking seven different kinds of wrecked. One for each year on her end.

[my_own_advocate]

Well, that's a good thing, isn't it?

Duke's texts seemed terse.

[betterthanaplan]

He was tired and worried. And still not the most used to texting as a means of communication.

YES

she thinks she’s dreaming

[my_own_advocate]

Have you tried pinching her? I hear that helps.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke rolled his eyes, even though Lucifer obviously wouldn't be able to see it.

not planning to add to the cuts and bruises thanks

She looked like she'd gone through the wringer. Several times. Though her feet, thankfully, had been the only active bleeders.

[my_own_advocate]

... don't we have a clinic?

[betterthanaplan]

I’m good at first aid

But that was a good point, and Duke would bring her there as soon as she seemed up to dealing with people.

[my_own_advocate]

You know if she comes back only to bleed to death, I'm going to be extremely pissed off.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke scowled.

I can take care of my girl jackass

It was irritating, but also kind of centering to have Lucifer being so Lucifer right now.

[my_own_advocate]

Of course you can.

Lucky you, Duke, as Lucifer didn't really know how to be anything other than extremely Lucifer at all times.

[betterthanaplan]

that was sarcasm wasn't it

I can't tell in texts

[my_own_advocate]

You are extremely lucky you're attractive.

Yes. Yes it was sarcasm.

[betterthanaplan]

now you're just being mean

Which, again, was kind of a relief, right now.

not sure when she'll be up to seeing people. we'll come by when she is though

[my_own_advocate]

I hope next time you tell someone that you'll have figured out how to phrase it in a way that doesn't make it sound like she's either pregnant or a new poodle.

LUCIFER.

[betterthanaplan]

what?

she's RECOVERING

[my_own_advocate]

Yes, and only your manly arms can make it all alright again while she sleeps off the apocalypse. Insert eyeroll here. You'll note I'm not rushing over there to see her.

[betterthanaplan]

Hands, mostly. She'd said she missed his hands while he'd bandaged her up.

you're just determined to make me out to be a sexist

[my_own_advocate]

No I just make fun of the words that actually come out of your phone.

[betterthanaplan]

aren't you sweet

Seriously. So reassuring.

[my_own_advocate]

If you didn't need people like me in your life, we wouldn't be friends, Lucifer pointed out. Take care of her, but don't buy into your own legend, you bloody pirate.

[betterthanaplan]

I wasn't until you said something, Duke pointed out.

He was just trying to take care of her.

[my_own_advocate]

Was he getting a moderately condescending gif of someone getting patted on the head?

Of course he was.

[betterthanaplan]

dick

This was accompanied by a selfie of Duke's eye roll.