my_own_advocate: (lucifer - a ha)
[personal profile] my_own_advocate
This certainly had been an emotionally eventful week, hadn't it? For the first time since Duke... exploded... Lucifer found himself in a decent mood, sleeping in to just about noon before cooking himself up a ridiculous breakfast.

Then there was coffee, and a still-somewhat-asleep Devil wandering onto the deck with a large mug that read 'Nail Satan' and a blanket slung over his shoulder. He sat down, facing the boardwalk, and stretched his legs out.

Sigh. A content one, for once. Not entirely without underlying strain, still, but close enough.

[[ open ]]

Date: 27 Oct 2024 15:47 (UTC)
okteiviakom: ([neg] .5 secs from losing it)
From: [personal profile] okteiviakom
Using that name was just unfair - or the most right thing he could possibly have done. Depending on your point of view.

Could he tell Octavia had been putting herself under a lot of pressure lately? Because her breath caught, and then there were just tears.

Date: 27 Oct 2024 15:52 (UTC)
okteiviakom: ([neg] crushing)
From: [personal profile] okteiviakom
The mostly empty cup got shoved haphazardly aside.

Octavia didn't fight the tugging. She went into it like a ragdoll, if anything. (Sobbing, despite her best efforts.)

Date: 27 Oct 2024 16:02 (UTC)
okteiviakom: ([neg] just gonna cry for a bit)
From: [personal profile] okteiviakom
Maybe helplessness was just natural.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Octavia was supposed to be stable, solid, able to just take things, whatever came her way. Be osleya again. Wasn't that what was needed of her?

But she was crying helplessly against Lucifer's shoulder instead, her arms winding their way around him to cling.

Date: 27 Oct 2024 16:17 (UTC)
okteiviakom: ([neg] .5 secs from losing it)
From: [personal profile] okteiviakom
Definitely didn't make the clinging lessen any.

And somewhere in between the sobbing Octavia managed a gasp of, "Skaifaya."

Because this was probably the most Octavia she'd been in weeks.

Date: 27 Oct 2024 16:30 (UTC)
okteiviakom: ([neg] just gonna cry for a bit)
From: [personal profile] okteiviakom
Octavia tried to take a few deeper breaths, to calm her body down a little, and was mostly successful.

Even if that meant that some clarity regarding the situation was beginning to seep in.

She shuddered.

Date: 27 Oct 2024 16:36 (UTC)
okteiviakom: ([spec linc] head kisses)
From: [personal profile] okteiviakom
A lot later, preferably?

Octavia's face burned, for reasons she had not yet processed. But she breathed. Slowly in through the nose. Out through the mouth.

As always.

Date: 27 Oct 2024 16:46 (UTC)
okteiviakom: ([spec linc] good luck getting this close)
From: [personal profile] okteiviakom
It soothed Octavia much more than she could have said, the way she felt the rise and fall of their chests syncing up. Helped her find a slow rhythm, too. And to ease some of the desperation out of her clinging.

Her shoulders had stopped shaking, and the sobs had ceased.

Date: 27 Oct 2024 16:54 (UTC)
okteiviakom: ([neg] heavy heart)
From: [personal profile] okteiviakom
Octavia kept just focusing on her breathing for a long moment more. But the calmer her body got, the more her thoughts all came back to her. Some clearer than before, though that made some of them kind of painful.

Her cheeks felt too warm.

"I'm sorry I thought you didn't want to," she told him, very, very quietly. Her voice sounded like... Well, like she'd been crying her eyes out. No surprise there. "That was stupid."

And it wasn't even the only thing.

Date: 27 Oct 2024 17:02 (UTC)
okteiviakom: ([spec] emotional intimacy)
From: [personal profile] okteiviakom
"I..." Octavia started, then hesitated.

But she was already feeling embarrassed, so what was one more thing?

"I almost dropped by the house yesterday," she muttered. "Thought I'd take a bath, maybe. But I -- I couldn't make myself go in. Into the house."

Date: 27 Oct 2024 17:08 (UTC)
okteiviakom: ([neu] big breath)
From: [personal profile] okteiviakom
Just like she knew he would always want date nights with her?

"Didn't feel... mine. My place."

More in the figurative sense, but it was hard for her to put into words. What with the shame now that some of her thoughts had cleared.

Date: 27 Oct 2024 17:16 (UTC)
okteiviakom: ([neu] not again)
From: [personal profile] okteiviakom
Hey now, Octavia had been fully aware of her rights with the house for years, and had taken occasional advantage of that. This had just been... a bad blip.

Hence:

"I know. But I felt like, with the date nights..."

She didn't actually want to finish that thought out loud, so she hoped he could infer enough from her trailing off.

Date: 27 Oct 2024 17:27 (UTC)
okteiviakom: ([neg] shattering glass)
From: [personal profile] okteiviakom
"It's not a competition," Octavia objected, obviously not to argue with him but to say she knew that. "I just.. thought maybe I got replaced, I know, it's stupid and I don't know why."

She said the back half of that very fast, with her voice getting a little strained towards the end.

Like she was sorry.
Edited Date: 27 Oct 2024 17:29 (UTC)

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