If I may play the me&#39;s advocate for a moment...

"Hi," said the girl who seemed to materialize right in front of him. "You look like crap, oh my god."

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"...Excuse me?" Lucifer said, staring at her.

He should have slammed the door shut in her face.

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"You even missed my pun just now," SweetAngel03 sighed. "Though honestly, you're not really one of my favorites? Your mojo is consent issue city. Where's Duke? I love Duke, he's like, the woobiest."

She shoved past Lucifer into the ship.

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She... she should not be able to do that.

"What the-- no, don't go in there!" Lucifer yelled. "Octavia! Duke! We have an invader!"

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Duke immediately burst -- shirtless -- out of the bedroom, holding a rusty trident.

"Oh god, she's not another human squirrel, is she?"

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okteiviakom

Octavia was less interested in asking questions. She was on her feet, and glaring.

"Get out."

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SweetAngel03 didn't seem all that impressed. "You are so problematic," she told Octavia. "I can't believe they actually gave you two romance storylines."

But then her eyes darted to Duke.

"You deserve so much better," she sighed, adjusting her jaunty beanie.

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"Be careful," Lucifer called, storming down after her. "She has some kind of mad-- superpower!"

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"Why does everyone think I can 'do better'?" Duke asked the sky. He looked at the . . . very young, very intrusive person with a sigh. "I don't give a shit what you think I can do, these are my people and you're upsetting them. Go away."

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okteiviakom

"We won't tell you more times."

Why yes, Octavia was taking it upon herself to try and physically remove the stranger from their boat, this time.

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SweetAngel03... wasn't moving, somehow? "No, seriously," she said, brushing Octavia aside. "You're a total woobie who surrounds himself with so many toxic people, I feel so bad for you. I mean, I liked you with Nathan before he turned into a raging dick, but they just had to go for drama."

She sighed loudly.

"You need a comfort break."

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Lucifer opened his mouth to speak, but he felt-- queasy, all of a sudden.

As if something was bending reality around him.

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"Wh --" Duke started. Not being a celestial, the queasy feeling was more of a hard jerk trying to pull his stomach sideways, and instead of asking what a woobie was, or maybe how this kid new Nathan, or any of the half a dozen or so other questions springing to mind, he dropped his trident and swayed.

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okteiviakom

An alarmed note had already seeped into Octavia's irritated expression when she hadn't been able to move the girl at all, somehow.

It definitely grew now.

"What the --"

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"--Hell--" Lucifer finished.

And suddenly, there was sunshine. The ocean lapped over golden sand, and behind them, the Fin & Tonic sat proudly in all its holiday glory.

Lucifer blinked.

He became distantly aware that he was holding Mai Tai in his hand.

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Duke sat abruptly. The water lapped over his bare feet, and the sand squished under his -- thankfully clothed -- ass.

He started to laugh. It wasn't a good laugh. The last time he'd been abruptly teleported to a beach, it'd resulted in his grandfather dying in his arms, after all.

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okteiviakom

Octavia found herself inexplicably in a bikini with a flowery sarong on top, and some cool shades perched atop her head.

Not that she actually noticed. She looked around wildly, trying to tackle the sudden change of scenery, over the remnants of nausea.

(Possibly worsening nausea?)

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"What," Lucifer said intelligently. "Is it just me or are we in the Bahamas?"

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