The Pier on Cat Island, Monday Morning

[my_own_advocate]

Well, nothing had gone catastrophically wrong since Duke left yesterday. Octavia and Lucifer had taken their portal, and found themselves standing immediately in the sunshine. Whatever burdens had laid on Lucifer's shoulders, many of them sloughed off at the sight of the sand and the surf.

Sometimes he missed Los Angeles, still. The beach helped. And while the temperatures could have been higher, they were comfortable, much more so than Fandom. So he had stretched, and set up the Fin and Tonic for inhabitation for the next few weeks, and that had been all.

And now he was here. Sitting on the edge of their pier, a pina colada in one hand, wearing a swimsuit that didn't quite aspire to the heights (or lows) of Eric's small speedos, his legs kicking idly over the water. There was a peace here he was desperate to embrace. He could only hope Octavia could find a fraction of it, as well.

(And Duke, out there on his boat, processing his demons.)

[[ open for phone calls and she who is here ]]

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[okteiviakom]

Peace was... debatable. But a certain kind of internal sense of quiet had come upon Octavia after Duke had taken off and they'd landed in the Bahamas. There was a touch of emptiness about it, something a little worn down. But she'd take it.

(It wasn't like she had a choice.)

She'd slept heavy and dreamless, and felt kind of groggy even now, as she made her way down along the pier.

[my_own_advocate]

"Would you like a non-alcoholic pina colada, darling?" Lucifer asked. He didn't need to look up to know her footsteps, after all.

He patted the cooler by his side.

[okteiviakom]

"Sure," Octavia replied, not feeling a particular urge either way, but...

That was no reason to say no to a fruity thing.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer opened up the cooler and reached in to grab a neat little plastic bottle of something extremely yellow.

He held it out for her.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia took it with a little nod, then turned her attention on the water stretching out in front of them.

Opened the bottle too, as she did.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer took a deep breath, and then exhaled. Happily.

"I missed the beach," he said. "Ah, the warm, Caribbean beach, I mean."

[okteiviakom]

"So you missed the warmth most of all?" Octavia asked, glancing over, then back at the water.

She took a sip.

[my_own_advocate]

"A certain kind of warmth," Lucifer said. "We do live in a swamp."

[okteiviakom]

And now he was getting a mild but confused look.

"Right."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer waved a hand, as if that explained everything. "So how are you this morning?"

[okteiviakom]

It explained nothing, but Octavia was willing to let it go.

"Tired," she said. It felt... accurate. Yes, despite how uncharacteristically long she'd slept.

[my_own_advocate]

"Sounds like you were badly in need of a break," Lucifer said.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia gave that one a vague hum.

"Well," she muttered, "I wasn't the only one."

[my_own_advocate]

"We were all badly in need of a break," Lucifer allowed.

[okteiviakom]

"Some of us needed to run away."

It wasn't... necessarily how she felt about it, and the wording wasn't exactly accurate, was it?

It'd do.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer sipped his pina colada. "You think we're running?"

[okteiviakom]

Octavia sipped her drink. Once, then another time, letting silence linger.

"There any breakfast stashed away in that cooler?"

No comment, then.

[my_own_advocate]

"I don't think we're running," Lucifer said, but he leaned over obediently, rooting around until he produced a fruit salad for her.

[okteiviakom]

"I didn't say we were," Octavia replied, mildly.

She set her drink aside to take the fruit salad from him.

(At some point here she might want to consider sitting down.)

[my_own_advocate]

Yes. Yes, she should.

Lucifer patted a spot on the pier beside him.

[okteiviakom]

So, shrugging, Octavia sat down in it.

Carefully, because of the things in her hands. She didn't want to drop her breakfast in the ocean, after all.

[my_own_advocate]

"I do love this view," Lucifer murmured. "Lets me drift away from all my troubles."

[okteiviakom]

This time, Octavia's vague hum was at least somewhat merited.

She popped some of the fruit salad into her mouth.

[my_own_advocate]

"Penny for your thoughts?" Lucifer hazarded.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia sighed. Softly, sort of.

Then she looked over at him again. "I'm not sure I even know what they are," she admitted.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer let out a soft huff. "It has been a few weeks, hasn't it?" he murmured. He shook his head. "I tried to talk to Duke the other day. And... I can see why you were concerned."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia's expression turned into one of a tired question.

He could pick which one it was.

[my_own_advocate]

"Well, we're not doing the thing I suggested we try, that's for sure," Lucifer said. He looked at Octavia. "He agreed. He's too... up in his own head right now to handle it."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia couldn't even tell whether she felt disappointment, or an odd sense of relief.

(It was both.)

"Right," she murmured.

[my_own_advocate]

"He seems... very focused on being heard, specifically," Lucifer added, "But you noticed that already."

[okteiviakom]

"I noticed his ears seem to barely work," Octavia muttered, looking down at her fruit salad only to pick up the drink instead.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer sighed. "He wants me to ask you for permission to tell him more about our sex life," he said. "I tried to tell him that if he just approached you slightly differently, you would tell him yourself, but..."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia had been about to take a sip.

Her hand stopped. Her expression wobbled.

Her voice sounded hollow and forced. "He asked you?"

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer sighed. "Yes," he said. "I-- you're right. He's not really listening to anything very well right now."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia stared at the water.

Words would come. Just not... not immediately.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer let out another sigh.

His hand reached out gingerly to touch her... leg?

Well. That was what was available.

[okteiviakom]

Still staring out over the water, Octavia fumbled the bottle out of her hand so that she could grab his hand. Grip it, really, as tight as she could.

And then she squeezed her eyes shut, and she screamed, as loud as she could. All fury and frustration, one of those banshee cries she hadn't felt the need to let out in a long while.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer winced. But only a little.

"Understandable," he said.

[okteiviakom]

Once the scream died out, with all the air pushed out of Octavia's lungs, she gasped a big breath back in.

Mercifully, she did not scream again. Just... did her best to breathe.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer's turn to shift his hand, so he could grip hers in return.

And squeeze.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia squeezed back.

She was slow to open her eyes. Almost said something, swallowed it at the last second.

Were words ever actually going to come?

[my_own_advocate]

"Are you all right?" Lucifer asked. Carefully.

[okteiviakom]

"No."

Well, hey, that was a word! And the frustration wasn't even aimed at him.

Wasn't really aimed at anyone.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer blinked.

"I'm sorry."

[okteiviakom]

"Why is he asking you," erupted out of her, "and why now?"

[my_own_advocate]

"Because he doesn't think you want to tell him," Lucifer said, "and he seems uninterested in anyone telling him anything he isn't already thinking?"

[okteiviakom]

The screaming urge felt very close to the surface, again.

Her jaw clenched, instead.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer heaved a big breath. "I think we just have to wait this one out," he said. "Unfortunately. He seems to be, ah. Going through something."

[okteiviakom]

"I know," Octavia pushed through gritted teeth.

She would hopefully manage a breath here soon that would ease some of the more extreme of her tensions.

[my_own_advocate]

"Right."

Beat.

"Would you like to punch something?"

[okteiviakom]

Octavia exhaled a long breath through her nose.

"Probably."

It also felt exactly as futile as anything else.

[my_own_advocate]

"Because there's a quiet patch of land behind the diner and I could probably find something to hold for you," Lucifer said slowly.

[okteiviakom]

And there was a sigh, rough and somehow sounding a little forced. "What's the point?"

A beat.

(This wasn't his fault, and she didn't want him to think she thought so.)

"But thanks."

[my_own_advocate]

"The point is that you're clearly having feelings you're struggling to release?" Lucifer offered. "And I am always willing to help with that."

Hem.

[okteiviakom]

"I know," Octavia muttered. "But I don't know if I feel like it."

[my_own_advocate]

"Hm," Lucifer hummed in understanding. "Well. I suppose we'll just sit here, then."

He sipped his drink.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia gave that a vague, stilted nod. And then spent a long moment just breathing in an out. Trying to will the worst of the tension out of her shoulders.

She was halfway successful.

"I hope you'll have an okay vacation," she muttered. "Regardless."

[my_own_advocate]

"I would prefer it if we all did," Lucifer said.

Honestly.

[okteiviakom]

"Well, I was talking about you," Octavia retorted, but it was... a little softer, at least.

[my_own_advocate]

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I am the one I'm least worried about in all this," Lucifer said. He looked at her, then.

[okteiviakom]

"Good, then I guess I don't have to worry about you."

She was probably going to do it anyway, in the background.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer let out a soft, almost amused huff of a breath. "We just... give him some space," he said. "And hopefully he'll untie the knot in his very pretty brain and start asking us about how we see things again."

[okteiviakom]

"Mmh," was the best that Octavia could do in response.

She gave his hand another squeeze.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer sighed. "Right, right," he said. "I should stop with the advice. And the suggestions. And the ideas."

[okteiviakom]

"I'm not saying that," Octavia murmured. "I'm just... really, really tired."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer removed his hand from her leg. Instead, he slid that arm around her shoulders.

Tried to pull her in.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia didn't have as much of an iron grip on him anymore, but it still took her a moment to let him move.

But she did.

And she allowed him to tug her in, too, slumping a little against his side.

[my_own_advocate]

"I'm so sorry, darling," Lucifer murmured, pressing his face into her hair.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia made a frustrated noise and tried to nuzzle at his neck.

"It's like --" she started, only to cut herself off, and made another grumbly noise.

[my_own_advocate]

"Yes?" Lucifer prompted gently.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia's voice was considerably more quiet when she finally answered.

And... defeated.

"I feel like I don't even know him."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer frowned. "Howso?" he asked gently.

[okteiviakom]

"I don't know, everything just feels so... unpredictable," Octavia muttered, after a short moment of silently groping for words. "Like the landscape's shifted. And now I don't know where it's safe to walk anymore."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer let out a soft huff. "Sounds familiar," he murmured. "But... yes, after the talk I had with him, I can see how you would feel that way."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia nodded faintly against his shoulder. Or whatever part of him that happened to be.

"And I know I have no room to complain," she added. "Think I might've been worse."

It was hard for her to remember much in the way of details about a lot of the first couple of years after her return.

[my_own_advocate]

"We learned the hard way when to give you space and when to take it," Lucifer said softly. "Because you couldn't really tell us. You could often only react."

[okteiviakom]

"Yeah," Octavia said.

It was a quiet sigh of a word.

"Exactly."

[my_own_advocate]

"I think that's where he's at right now," Lucifer said pensively. "He's mostly reacting and can't bloody tell us why or what for, exactly."

[okteiviakom]

"I don't know how to do this," Octavia admitted.

Although she suspected that much might have already been abundantly clear.

[my_own_advocate]

"I know," Lucifer said quietly. "It goes against your instincts. But I promise you, he's still Duke."

[okteiviakom]

"But which one?"

She'd still been Octavia, too. But not the same Octavia.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer's mouth curved wryly. "I think we may have to find out."

[okteiviakom]

Something caught in Octavia's throat again, like she started saying something but immediately just... didn't.

She felt like she was doing that a lot, lately. Holding things back.

[my_own_advocate]

He saw it, though.

"Octavia?"

[okteiviakom]

Octavia hesitated some more.

Then she muttered, "I'm... worried."

That didn't feel like the right word. But it was one she could live with.

[my_own_advocate]

"What about?"

[okteiviakom]

Octavia's voice was staying very quiet, now. She tried to make it mild, too, but the... worry broke through.

"What if this version ends up thinking... that I'm too much to deal with?"

And quieter, more mumbly still.

"Or the other way around."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer's expression softened. "Oh, love," he said.

[okteiviakom]

"That's not a reassuring answer."

As far as jokes went, that was... really too weak to qualify.

(But maybe Octavia deserved some slack because she now hated that she'd shared that in the first place.)

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer kissed her cheek. Tried to pull her in even tighter. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "We have been through worse with one another. You have been much worse. And we were still here, in the end. He loves you, as I have loved you, through all your worst things. And you love him, and you're worried because you do."

Because losing him would be terrifying.

"But I think this too will pass," he said. "I think he's difficult right now because he's moving, not because he's arrived. So to speak."

[okteiviakom]

"But for how long?"

She was aware he wasn't going to have a answer for her. She was just... allowing the feeling out.

[my_own_advocate]

"I don't know," Lucifer said anyway.

[okteiviakom]

He was already holding her tight.

Octavia tried to press against him even tighter anyway, because there was little else she could do.

[my_own_advocate]

"We'll be okay," Lucifer whispered. He rubbed her back. Firm, solid.

[okteiviakom]

"Will we?"

Tell her again.

[my_own_advocate]

"Yes," Lucifer said softly. "We will be okay."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia wasn't sure she believed it. But maybe it was enough, for know, to know that he did.

She shifted just enough that she could look up at him. Search his face for something. What? Even she probably didn't know.

[my_own_advocate]

She would find something gentle, and loving, and a strange sense of calm faith even Lucifer wasn't sure he understood. "Yes?"

[okteiviakom]

It was beautiful to see, even with how Octavia was feeling. Especially with how Octavia was feeling.

She reached up, to kiss him.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer leaned into it. He kissed her back, trying to infuse it with his confidence, that faith.

[okteiviakom]

What Octavia was mostly getting was that he felt solid. He was there, and he would be there.

And she was just doing her level best to drink it all in, needy with her own lean.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer had plenty of it to give. He wasn't sure how he'd wound up the solid part of anything, but he was willing to give it his all.

Especially when it seemed like she needed him so much.

He held her. Kissed her.

He would, for as long as she needed him to.

[okteiviakom]

It was probably going to be a long while. Octavia needed. The reassurance, the touch, the distraction.

Him.

Yes, it was going to take a while, this kiss and whatever followed from it.