Voicemail

[my_own_advocate]

"Do people actually still use voicemail? How charmingly backwards. Leave me a message, or better yet, invest in an instant messenger app and join us in the 21st century. Cheers!"

He didn't need to mention his name with a message like that, did he?

Comments

[texted3times]

At some point on Thursday, Lucifer got a photo of Eric's bare back. Fuck you, I can go on vacation too. Massage and not thinking even a little bit about you. Asshole.

He was paying so little attention to Lucifer being gone that he sent him a picture and whined about it. Yup.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer, who was enjoying his ability to tan just fine, looked down at his phone, smirked, and texted back--

I see you haven't quite gotten the hang of sexting yet.

[1000yearstoolate]

If you sent moddable pictures of naked hands to a Radchaai working in a flower shop, you might get a few pictures of erotic-looking flowers back. At least that was what Seivarden send.

Please. I'm at work.

[my_own_advocate]

That would be your first mistake, Lucifer agreed.

[1000yearstoolate]

Sometime during the morning Lucifer had a sword delivered with a note attached:

Since I give you flowers every week anyway I hope you will appreciate this instead. Seivarden

She was quite sure he wouldn't leave it stuck in her door anyway. Not a euphemism.

[betterthanaplan]

In the predawn hours of Friday morning, Lucifer got a short text:

shes back

[my_own_advocate]

How? Where? Does your religion prohibit the sharing of details and context?!

[1000yearstoolate]

"I... need to talk. I think I messed up. I did mess up. Badly. I'm at the beach. Unless you're busy."

[1000yearstoolate]

Several hours after Seivarden had left Devil's Nest, just when Caritas was about to close, and after half a bottle of tequila, Lucifer received a text:

Am I really clueless about things?

Even drunk, she did remember that Lucifer didn't lie.

[my_own_advocate]

To an utterly spectacular degree, Lucifer texted back, because no, he definitely didn't lie. I have told you this repeatedly before. Your ability to misread or ignore emotional cues is, frankly, legendary. What has brought this on?

[okteiviakom]

A text dinged in on Thursday.

At the onsen today

Apparently Lucifer would have to color in his own context around that. (But it was an invitation, if he wanted it to be.)

[1000yearstoolate]

Sometime in the morning Lucifer received a message:

You jinxed me. And you have to explain weddings properly to me at some point.

[my_own_advocate]

They're ceremonies where people promise each other they'll be faithful forever, an impossible task almost none of them ever actually succeed at. What else is there to tell?

Lucifer lowered his phone and looked back up, smirking at the terrified criminal in front of him. "Sorry about that. A friend with questions. Where were we?"

... he probably should not have been left unattended this weekend.

[okteiviakom]

Eventually, late on Sunday night, Octavia managed to wrench herself away from Duke long enough to send a text.

He's back, gone for a month, was shitty like haven always is.

There, that just about covered it.

[my_own_advocate]

so that'll be a stronger chaser to go with the champagne, I take it

You dealt with these matters your way, Lucifer his way.

[1000yearstoolate]

Sometime during the morning Seivarden sent a picture.

I'm trying to persuade Summer to open a place like this on the island that includes tea.

[my_own_advocate]

i don't care

Sorry, Seivarden. Bad timing.

[betterthanaplan]

In the middle of the night, a text message:

she's human again

[my_own_advocate]

Well, one of them had an uninterrupted night's rest, so Lucifer didn't see that until the morning. When he finally woke up, and squinted, and,

well how is she what's happening

[somethingwithturquoise]

It was pretty late in the evening that Lucifer would have received a text from Summer, one that would have maybe seemed a little panicked and worried if it wasn't, you know, a text....

Soooooo....slight delay in the whole portal plan. The gun is apparently not working??? Don't worry, tho I'm having barry look at it, he should have it fixed in no time, I'll keep you updated!

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer stared at his phone. And almost chucked it into the ocean in pent-up bad feelings from the past few days he hadn't acknowledged frustration.

But then he remembered Octavia had wrecked her own phone and relented.

okay

Phone Day!

[special_rabbit]

Amaya was definitely getting a lot of goofy messages today, but the one from Seivarden definitely had to be the goofiest yet. She wasn't even sure it made any sense, but she was going to try to respond to it as best she could, anyway, after having read it a few times over and still feeling bewildered:

I know I don't HAVE to have sex anymore, but that doesn't mean I don't---AH ZARDS. I don't even know what you're talking about! I thought we were done with all that, anyway?

Re: Phone Day!

[my_own_advocate]

[[ to here ]]

But Who Was Phone...?

[jedigrammarians]

[From here]

You want a HR complaint? I'll give you one where the sun don't shine.

Also calling it HR is extremely anthropocentric, you'd think people on this island would care more about that.

Re: But Who Was Phone...?

[my_own_advocate]

[[ to here ]]

Wacky Phone Day

[superjoanjett]

Okay. It was a weird message to get so Jessica responded in her typical manner:

I don't know who you are but you're too young for me and I can probably drink you under the table. Also if you try to give me highlights I'll murder you in your sleep.

Re: Wacky Phone Day

[my_own_advocate]

[[ to here! ]]

Wacky Phone Day!

[thedadalorian]

Wait, what now?

"I don't know how young you are, but I'm not interested either way. Is this another Spring Break thing?"

Re: Wacky Phone Day!

[my_own_advocate]

[[ to here ]]

Wacky Phone/Texting Day

[1000yearstoolate]

Seivarden had never ever expected to get a text from Rosa again. Especially not telling her she was hot. Before even thinking she sent:

Fuck off

Seconds later she realised it must have been the wrong number, but she didn't particularly care.

Re: Wacky Phone/Texting Day

[my_own_advocate]

[[ here and here ]]

PHONE DAY

[heroic_jawline]

I'm not sure I needed to know what you were doing last night, but congratulations for being open about it? I guess?

Re: PHONE DAY

[my_own_advocate]

[[ to here ]]

[grenadesandohana]

"Who does like their siblings in that way? Because I'm pretty sure it's illegal most places. If you'd like to file a follow-up report, please come down to the station."

There, that weird message was all settled.

[my_own_advocate]

[[ to here! ]]

[seriesofbaddecisions]

"I'm not planning on doing anything. What precisely am I supposed to be stopping?"

Wacky Phones 2021

[atreideslioness]

Of COURSE Ghanima was returning this call.

"To be perfectly blunt, no, I do not trust you to know that fire is bad," Ghanima said cheerfully. "I shall be judging you and your judgement until the end of time. I've met your family, after all."

[superjoanjett]

Sometime on Friday, Jessica sent the following message.

Weirdness is done. Somebody beat the shit out of a crystal or whatever. Island is back to its normal level of shittiness.

[my_own_advocate]

Still in one piece? Lucifer texted back.

[okteiviakom]

Its a lot of paint

Hello, Lucifer, your (kinda-not-a-)girlfriend had made it to work safely.

[my_own_advocate]

He started it Lucifer texted back, maturely.

[betterthanaplan]

Lucifer got a text from an unknown number:

🦝➡️💃💥🍽🤙

If anyone was going to understand that emoji mess, it’d be Lucifer, right?

[my_own_advocate]

😧👩🏻‍❤️‍👨🏻🍷🍽️??

Yes, he absolutely got it.

Phone day

[unusual_sith]

From here!

Why on earth would I joke about a crab? And I should hope the clinic is always discreet.