The OceaNyx, Somewhere At Sea, Sunday

[my_own_advocate]

There had been a brief moment at port to restock their increasingly-full pantry, but otherwise, the OceaNyx had been at sea (or at uninhabited bay) for the past few days, allowing its inhabitants to find some kind of peace. It had been helpful, at least for Lucifer, whose strong emotions towards both of his partners - anger, for Duke, worry, for Octavia - had finally settled back down. Allowing him to be in the moment.

Admittedly, 'the moment' involved a lot of cooking in the ship's incredibly tiny kitchen - how he'd managed to wrench that many cookies out of that oven was anyone's guess - but still.

It was a nice day. The climate was certainly growing warmer, as they moved further south. And so Lucifer eventually exited the kitchen to find a spot on some cushions near the back, enjoying the sight of the wind in the ship's sails, the way it bent slightly sideways as it made speed, the sound of the bow cutting through the water.

Why couldn't it be like this all the time?

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Comments

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer gave her a little squeeze. "Sorry."

[okteiviakom]

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," Octavia muttered.

[my_own_advocate]

"I'm not being particularly helpful to you," Lucifer said. "And I'm not certain how to be."

[okteiviakom]

"If I have to start worrying about how you can help," Octavia replied, quiet and mild, "that's too many layers to this thing."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer let out a soft huff. "Fair point," he said. "I'm hardly going to put that burden on you."

[okteiviakom]

"Don't put it on yourself, either."

Easier said than done, she knew.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer sighed.

"Trying to help you just... feels less futile, that's all."

[okteiviakom]

"Than helping him?" Octavia guessed, voice gone extra quiet.

[my_own_advocate]

"Yes," Lucifer said quietly. "When I look at you, I feel hope. Him... Well."

[okteiviakom]

"Oh," Octavia breathed.

It... wasn't great to hear.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer sighed. "I know."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia fell quiet again. Drawn into her thoughts.

At least there was still the noise of the water.

[my_own_advocate]

After a few moments of that, Lucifer spoke again.

"I need you," he said.

[okteiviakom]

It startled Octavia into looking up at him.

"What?" she asked, as if she hadn't heard. (As if it didn't immediately bring back a sore memory.)

[my_own_advocate]

"It's why I couldn't go along with-- everything you were saying about yourself," Lucifer said quietly. "The more afraid I am to need him, the more... I need you."

[okteiviakom]

"Someone has to have your back," Octavia whispered, half realization, half just telling him she got it.

[my_own_advocate]

"Yes," Lucifer said, and looked at her. "I can't lose you, Octavia. It would destroy me."

[okteiviakom]

"But you're... you," Octavia tried.

(She knew that was why.)

[my_own_advocate]

"I am," Lucifer agreed. "And yet this is how I feel."

[okteiviakom]

"I'm trying," Octavia promised, quietly. "I'm trying to stay where you need me."

[my_own_advocate]

"I know," Lucifer said softly. "I trust you."

[okteiviakom]

"But I've been falling apart."

Another mutter.

[my_own_advocate]

"I trust you to try," Lucifer said, searching her face. "I don't expect you to always succeed."

[okteiviakom]

"That'd be dumb anyway," Octavia replied, trying for a wry tone.

Failing.

"I'm pretty sure I made an ass of myself at the club again --" Well, at least there was a grand tradition behind it. "-- and everything."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer blinked. "... Howso?"