Lucifer's Penthouse, Thursday

[my_own_advocate]

It had been days since Dad had announced His retirement and left. Lucifer supposed he should feel relieved by now, or elated. Dad was... vacating their lives for good. And there was no doubt who His successor would be: Amenadiel, who had trained for this for his entire long celestial life.

He could admit in the privacy of his own head that Amenadiel would make a far better God than their Father had ever been.

Not for the first time in the past... month? Had it been a month? Lucifer thought about how they should be headed home. To the Rouge, and its nostalgic sailor aesthetic that, again in the privacy of his own thoughts, Lucifer could admit he sort of missed.

Perhaps it was the matter of Daniel and his well-deserved revenge that kept his thoughts so messy and his feet firmly placed within the boundaries of Los Angeles county. That had to be it. No?

Lucifer poured himself another glass of scotch and leaned against the bar, contemplating the bottles. He did still like this apartment, he mused, so there was that.

[[ expecting one, but open for phone calls ]]

Comments

[my_own_advocate]

And oh, look, that hand was pushing back some of Duke's hair behind his ear, instead. Ridiculous.

"Dad's... not just leaving," Lucifer said slowly. "He's retiring."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke blinked. Frowned. (He'd been doing a lot of both lately.)

". . . He can do that?"

Did that mean there just. Wouldn't be a God in this universe anymore?

[my_own_advocate]

"Apparently," Lucifer said, returning his attention to his glass. "He wants Amenadiel and I to keep the news to ourselves, so I assume He's actually scarpered to prepare the Silver City for my brother's impending ascension."

[betterthanaplan]

"So . . . Amenadiel is going to be the new God."

Duke wasn't sure what he thought of that. Sure, he liked Amenadiel well enough, but he'd just had a kid. Did that mean that Charlie would take over after him? Would Linda become, like . . . Queen God?

"Yeah, I can see how this is messing with your head a bit."

It sure was with Duke's.

[my_own_advocate]

"I assume so. Father hasn't said, but, well, Amenadiel has been preparing for this since we were all running about in angel nappies, and if he doesn't want it getting out past us..."

He shrugged and took a sip.

[betterthanaplan]

"Well . . . sure. What if someone else wanted to take the gig? Could you imagine?"

[my_own_advocate]

"Yes, that's just what we'd need to cap off this entire... disastrous month," Lucifer muttered, "A war for the heavenly throne."

[betterthanaplan]

A month. Had they really been here that long? (Had they only been here that long?)

"Think we're going to need another vacation after all this?"

[my_own_advocate]

"I think... we," Lucifer said, using that word gingerly, and at the same time, finding himself surprised it came so easily at all, "May need to just spend an entire year naked on an island somewhere."

[betterthanaplan]

"Might get a little boring after awhile. But I like that instinct."

He really liked how Lucifer hadn't outright denied that there'd be a "we".

[my_own_advocate]

"Well, obviously when we get bored, we get on our boat and go to another island," Lucifer said, sipping more scotch.

[betterthanaplan]

"Right." Duke smiled broadly, shifting to rest his arm around Lucifer's waist. "Silly me."

Should he mention that he was looking for a boat in LA? Or would Lucifer try to insist on buying it for him?

(Was it really important that he buy it himself? Damn Linda, making him question things.)

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer let him. Might have almost, maybe, kind of, leaned into that a little.

"It is going to be a rather new universe without Him in charge," he said. "A better one, if I know Amenadiel."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke hummed non-noncommittally. "I hope so." He considered what to say next carefully. He knew he needed to clear the air a bit about Lucifer's whole 'I can't love you back', but they felt so easy right now. Lucifer felt present with him, but it was fragile. Like he might spook at any moment.

"I'm glad you're talking about staying with us," he said finally, voice soft. "You scared us, you know."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer sighed. "Well, you've made it rather clear what your position is," he said. "And I am, selfishly, not particularly eager to do anything more drastic to change our situation, so..."

He made a helpless gesture with his glass.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke snorted softly.

"What exactly about letting me get my way is 'selfish'?"

[my_own_advocate]

"Because I'm not worth it," Lucifer said.

The whole 'can't love you' thing had sort of started to morph and crystallize into that ancient, long-held belief.

[betterthanaplan]

"Bullshit," Duke said gently. "Take it from someone who's been on that whole roller coaster before. When someone tells you you're worth it, believe them."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer let out a soft huff. It sounded a little wry, or perhaps desperate, around the edges.

[betterthanaplan]

"Can I tell you something?" Duke asked. "Without you freaking out?"

[my_own_advocate]

"Well, that's not a forboding opening at all," Lucifer muttered. He looked at Duke. "By all means."

[betterthanaplan]

"Or telling me I don't know what I'm talking about," Duke said, realizing that that might be a bigger issue at this precise moment. Then he took a breath, hanging on a little tighter to Lucifer's waist, and dove in.

"I've been with people who didn't love me. Who couldn't, maybe. I know what that looks like." He caught Lucifer's eye and held it as long as he could. "You are not one of them."

[my_own_advocate]

Making him promise not to freak out up front was rude, Duke. Because that limited Lucifer to that sigh, and an attempt at an evasive glance at literally anything else that failed because whoever had given you those eyes was evil, Crocker.

[betterthanaplan]

Nah. Not these eyes. The silver ones, sure. But not these.

"You don't have to believe me yet," Duke said. "Octavia gave me that room, so I'm going to give it to you. But you -- we -- are loveable and loving. No matter who our parents are. Or what they did to us." He offered Lucifer a small smile. "And frankly, you trying to say otherwise is starting to piss me off."

Well past starting. But he was trying to be gentle here.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer snorted softly. He closed his eyes - the only defense he had here. That, and the question he'd asked Octavia, the one without an answer.

"Then why do I keep feeling this way?" Unworthy. Incapable.