Lucifer Morningstar (
my_own_advocate) wrote2021-07-10 01:27 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Entry tags:
Lucifer's Loft, Los Angeles, Saturday
Yesterday had been a still being played out day full of musical numbers and Dad and a woman murdering her judgemental referee husband for entirely understandable reasons. Lucifer had gone to bed entirely wiped, tired, too exhausted to remember he shouldn't be naked with Duke and Octavia.
He was still in that bed, sleeping more comfortably than he had in a week.
Unaware of the man hovering by the edge of the bed with a large tray full of breakfast foods in his hands.
[[ for those two and once again taken from Lucifer 5x10! ]]
He was still in that bed, sleeping more comfortably than he had in a week.
Unaware of the man hovering by the edge of the bed with a large tray full of breakfast foods in his hands.
[[ for those two and once again taken from Lucifer 5x10! ]]
Bedroom
Re: Bedroom
She would've startled awake from much less than that loud greeting, and so her eyes flew open. And fixed, after a second of blurry vision, on -- God. Again.
"Was I not clear the first time? Get out!"
Re: Bedroom
He was God. He couldn’t knock?!
Re: Bedroom
"Dad!" he said, staring up at Him. "Boundaries!"
Re: Bedroom
He glanced towards the living roon, "... in this bed, on the couch, on that desk, on the banister, on the floor, on the piano--"
Lucifer squawked.
Re: Bedroom
Which explained the complete lack of an effort to cover anything up as she veered up with that all-too familiar fire in her eyes.
"No one wants you here. Get out."
bBecause that had worked so well the first time.
Re: Bedroom
(Usually getting woken up naked in bed by a sexual partner’s parents involved a lot more screaming, actually. This was quieter, but way creepier.)
Re: Bedroom
Re: Bedroom
Re: Bedroom
(Even though it looked good.)
(... Really good.)
"I don't care."
Re: Bedroom
“Tavi,” he hissed quietly, thinking of what Amenadiel had told Dan. “Please don’t get smited.”
Re: Bedroom
Re: Bedroom
Re: Bedroom
Re: Bedroom
Or at least swearing. But she did neither, and didn't even go with her petty urge to stay undressed out of pure spite.
She turned, slowly, to look for her clothes.
Re: Bedroom
Re: Bedroom
Re: Bedroom
Re: Bedroom
Re: Bedroom
Re: Bedroom
Bra, next. Now where was her shirt...?
Re: Bedroom
Re: Bedroom
Re: Bedroom
Some of the anger seemed to have finally dimmed from her expression. For now.
Re: Bedroom
"When does He ever tell me anything?" he said.
His hand came up, as if he wanted to touch one of them, or maybe both. Then he took off to the coffee machine.
Re: Bedroom
“Think he’ll get less skittish again when his dad’s gone?”
Re: Bedroom
(She would have liked to touch him, too.)
"But that's assuming his dad goes." Optimism had become increasingly hard for her, over the last couple of days.
Re: Bedroom
"I do know how to do this properly, you know."
"Hm-hm."
Right. Of course. Lucifer grabbed a mug and filled it up and thrust it at Dad. "There. Ta-da. Coffee handled."
Re: Bedroom
There was a wrinkle there, just between His eyebrows. It did not spell good news.
He took a sip of the coffee. Lowered the mug. Leaned over and spat out that mouthful of coffee into the sink.
"Hm."
Re: Bedroom
"... What was that?"
Re: Bedroom
Re: Bedroom
Re: Bedroom
Re: Bedroom
Was Dad grinding coffee beans?
Re: Bedroom
Time to look real damn offended, and not worry about any potential for smiting.
"That's your idea of support?"
Re: Bedroom
Re: Bedroom
He was most definitely grinding coffee beans. And finding a filter.
Re: Bedroom
... shoving it at her and not at Duke because for all his attitude he couldn't handle any kind of rejection from anyone else right now and Octavia's backing of his coffee was guaranteed.
Re: Bedroom
She took a long, deliberate sip.
And said, "It's great coffee."
As her partners knew, she did not actually discriminate much when it came to her coffee. But this wasn't about that.
Re: Bedroom
"Of course it is," he said. "Lucifer doesn't do stuff that's less than the best."
Re: Bedroom
"It was fine," God said. He put the filter back down as soon as He noticed the French press. And went silent as He busied around making His own coffee.
Re: Bedroom
Re: Bedroom
He bustled around for a few mugs and poured fresh coffee into them.
"A wonderful farmer, aptly named Jesús. He had this unique roasting method."
He held a mug out for any one of them to take.
Re: Bedroom
Just pointedly raised her existing cup.
Re: Bedroom
“Yeah, not everyone can just pop down to Bolivia, buddy.”
Re: Bedroom
(Or with the--)
He sighed tiredly and took the cup. He sipped it. His expression shifted from wonderment to strongly trying to repress that sentiment. "It's... a little bitter..."
No, it wasn't.
"Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine! It’s incredible, okay?" he snapped, setting the cup back down. "You win."
God sighed. "This isn't about winning, son," he said. "I just want what's best for you."
Lucifer's eye twitched. He sucked in a deep breath. Fix the relationship. "Nothing, you're right," he said. "Thank you for the coffee."
Re: Bedroom
It was either that or flinging the contents at God, and even she knew better than to do that.
At least right now.
Re: Bedroom
"Right. Thanks for --" nothing "-- stopping by, Heavenly Father, we should --" never "-- do this again sometime. Don't let the elevator door hit you on your way out."
Re: Bedroom
Re: Bedroom
God tilted His head. "I suppose so," He said. "Hm."
And just like that, He vanished.
Re: Bedroom
Which part?
Any of it.
Loft
So he'd asked Octavia and Duke to go pick up dinner. Just to get an hour or so to himself.
He leaned on the bar, staring into his drink. He still didn't know how to make sense of any of this.
Re: Loft
The elevator doors slid open to reveal God, smiling. "How was your day, son?"
Re: Loft
Re: Loft
Re: Loft
Re: Loft
No.
"Lucifer," He said. "I wish I could..."
He watched Lucifer turn around, something wary and sharp and yet tired in his son's eyes.
"I want to," He tried again. "...Know what you've done to your suit."
Re: Loft
Oh, that look. Did Dad want to know the details of that one, too?
"I had a run-in with a murder victim's girlfriend yesterday," he said, irritated. "We had bad chemistry."
Re: Loft
Re: Loft
Exhausted. "No one but hypothetically the people who've been staying here with me can hurt me," he said. "If that even still holds, after everything. For all I know I'm now forever invulnerable, completely unscathed forever, totally dandy and nothing for you to worry about."
Re: Loft
"I definitely believe this is one of those times you're saying one thing and mean another."
Re: Loft
"You know, it was bad enough, rejecting me, forcing me down to Hell," he said.
He pulled away from the bar. "But I had a life here," he said, as he turned to face his Father. "I had a good thing!"
He'd had a good thing.
(Damn it all. There were the tears again, threatening to break through. He wouldn't let them.)
"First there was the Detective, she made me vulnerable, but it was--" He let out a shuddering breath. "It was terrifying, but it was amazing. And, and then when Your machinations pushed her away, I found-- I found a new home with these incredible people, and-- for the first time in my long-- hopeless life--"
(His voice was breaking again.)
"I, I," he managed, sucking down shallow breaths as he pushed the tears back. (Tried. Maybe failed.) "I felt something."
Another breath.
"And then You just turn up and You... You-- You ruin it! You throw it all away!"
A sob lurched out of him.
"Why?"
Re: Loft
The lights shifted from the apartment's cold blue to a warm orange.
Re: Loft
Of course. Dad couldn't just let him speak as he wished, He had to tear the words out of him, force them into a shape He found pleasing. And, as always, there was no point in fighting it.
"I dreamed a dream in times gone by; When hope was high and life worth living," he sang, striding through the room. All he could do now was-- keep those threatening tears at bay, couldn't he? The one bit of control left to him. "I dreamed that love would never die, I dreamed that God would be forgiving..."
He sucked in a breath.
"But I was young and unafraid.
And dreams were made And used and wasted.
There was no ransom to be paid--
No song unsung, no wine untasted."
Re: Loft
"But the tigers come at night," God's voice boomed. "With their voices soft as thunder; as they tear your hope apart..."
Re: Loft
They drew out the last word, God's face a frown, Lucifer's-- resigned.
Angry.
He shook his head with disgust and slipped past Father. Walking towards the bar, feet quicker, voice quicker.
"And still I dream they'll come to me.
That we will live the years together."
Re: Loft
God raised his arms, wide and suffocating. Or was that Lucifer's imagination? "But there are dreams that cannot be, and there are storms we cannot weather."
Re: Loft
He was angry. He was sad. He was a strange and fluctuating mixture of both.
But it was easier to project the rage than the rest of it, each word a snap of fury.
"I had a dream my life would be,
So different from this Hell I’m living,
So different now from what it seems..."
Except fury was finite, where the sorrow was not. He loathed these moments, where his expression broke, his voice cracked, because after all this time the mask kept slipping through his fingers.
"Now life has..." His gaze dropped from Father's face. "Killed--" he forced out, short, an off staccato beat. "...the dream..."
He thought of Octavia, begging him to stay. Duke's dogged pursuit. The look in Chloe's eyes.
Long years of ash drifting in silence.
He collapsed in his chair with jagged, imprecise motions, as if each part of his body gave in to gravity separately, uncoordinated. "...I dreamed."
He was crying again. He leaned forward and pressed his fingertips to his eyes so Father couldn't see, a useless gesture, done because it was all he knew.
Re: Loft
He settled His hand on Samael's back, between his shoulder blades. He hoped His son would take it as the comfort He intended it to be.
"So full of light that it blinds even you sometimes."
Re: Loft
Lucifer sat up, sucking in a wet breath that was too-loud to his ears. "What does that mean?"
He couldn't resist being cryptic even now, could He?
Re: Loft
Re: Loft
But the Devil was always in the details.
"So, You’re sorry for me, but You’re not sorry for what You’ve done," he concluded flatly.
Re: Loft
God sounded almost desperate.
"But I will say that I cannot fix you, Lucifer..."
Re: Loft
He wasn't proud of how small and young he sounded. And he hated the silence that followed even worse. Eventually he took another sad, damp breath and wiped some of the snot and the tears from his face.
"Okay, fine," he said. Forced himself to his feet, to find some bloody dignity. "If You can't fix me, Dad, at least-- stop trying to control me."
The bar. A drink. Get yourself together.
Re: Loft
Re: Loft
And he was crying. Again.
Re: Loft
Re: Loft
"Right, well, if you’re not gonna try," he sighed, waving a hand as if to cast that thought aside. "I don't know why I should even bother."
No more of this.
Just. Drinks.
Re: Loft
Now the crack was in God's voice, instead.
"It's that I don't think that I can," He sobbed, voice twisting.
Re: Loft
Re: Loft
Re: Loft
(Dad was... Dad. Dad was forever. Always there, always in control, always around...)
Impossible.
Couldn't be.
It was Dad.
What did that mean?
It couldn't mean what he thought it meant.
Why did he feel eight days old again?
Dad was forever.
"Dad?"
The Loft, After Dad's Departure
He stared at the balcony.
He should really get up and refresh his drink.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
She rarely got urges like that, so she tended to follow them.
The bad feeling she was getting right now was much more familiar, though. "Lucifer?"
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
"Hey." This was a significant mood change from when they left. He moved to wrap an arm around Lucifer's waist and kiss his cheek hello. "What's up, babe?"
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Her chest hurt, just as fast.
"He was here again," she said. "Wasn't he?"
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Shutting his eyes didn't erase the tear stains from his face, but he could pretend.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
"What'd he do this time?"
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
She finally set the cake down on the table, then knelt where she could rest her hand on Lucifer's knee, looking up at him.
She'd never seen him like this before. It was... a little terrifying.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
This... seemed bad.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Then he looked up at Duke. "You were right," he said, "About the why."
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Her helpless look turned to Duke. "What?"
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
His gaze skittered over the furniture as he slowly dragged himself back into this moment. It landed on Octavia at last.
She was solid.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
He maybe needed to stop trying to make light of this.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
But Octavia was glad to just have Lucifer's eyes meet hers. She reached for his hand.
"That's bad, right?" she murmured. "It sounds bad."
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
A few hours from now, he'd begin to do what he did best: rationalize what was going on, and find something to do, however ridiculous it might look.
But right now he was just trying to process the impossible.
He reached for her hand at almost the same time she did his, clasping it between both of his palms.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
And he wasn't sure he'd ever seen Lucifer cry before.
"Dementia," he repeated. "Can that -- happen?"
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Still watching Lucifer's face.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
As did pulling Octavia into him.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
(Lucifer's world, which had at least a certain metaphysical crossover with his own, since people from Haven had run into Lucifer in Hell. . . .)
So he just leaned into Lucifer again. Leaned his head against his. Tried to think of what they could possibly do about God losing control of his godliness.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
They could be a pile. That might help something.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
He let go of Octavia's hand and slid his arms around their waists.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
"You're not getting rid of us," he said softly. "Whatever happens. With your dad. With -- with Chloe. With you."
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
"What he said," she murmured anyway, in an echo of all the times Duke had backed her in the past several days.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
"No reason to worry about the Detective," he murmured.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
And yet she couldn't help doing it anyway. Just a sigh, a breath: "Why?"
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
(Telling them this was grounding now, for whatever reason.)
"Told her that I don't-- have the capacity to make choices from my heart," he mumbled. "But that if I have to choose with the rest of me, if none of you will leave me alone, then the two of you are the only choice."
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
"Good," was all he said though. "I, for one, am happy with whatever part is doing the choosing."
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
And as she pulled back just enough to see Lucifer's face, she was trying really hard to blink away the way she could feel her eyes try to well up.
Look, people didn't always choose her.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
"Oh, don't do that," he said softly, and pressed his lips against her forehead, tightening his arm around Duke.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Octavia squeezed her eyes shut tight, but of course that just forced a tear or two down onto her cheek.
She'd get a hold of herself in a second here, guys. Promise.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
"I just," he mumbled.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
And tried to tilt her face up to kiss Lucifer, while he was forgetting about his stupid wall.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
It didn't last long.
"Can't go home yet," he mumbled as he broke away, "But I think I'd like to go to bed now."
(To cling to them while he still let himself.)
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
She hadn't meant to take credit. Had wanted it to seem like the cake had just happened.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
He brushed her hair aside and kissed her forehead.
"Let's bring the food and deal with everything else tomorrow," he said. "Please."
Let him pretend with what felt like the only real thing he had.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
But at least it freed up her hands for wiping at her eyes, when she did.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Lucifer's hand wound up on her wrist, and the other on Duke's hip, and as soon as the bags were gathered he trailed as closely to the bedroom as they let him without removing his hands.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
Yes, he could be as close as he wanted to.
And once they got all their food settled on the bed, and themselves, Octavia was going right back to crowding his space.
When you gave her a chance, she took it.
Re: The Loft, After Dad's Departure
He could eat food. At some point. For now he'd linger on the comfort of their bodies until the daze left him. Whenever it did.
OOC