Somewhere in Los Angeles, Tuesday Night

[my_own_advocate]

He'd started walking again. Just like Monday, when Father had shown up for the first time.

Lucifer just walked, leaving Linda's house far behind him. He kept walking blindly, thoughts racing, barely even aware of Duke and Octavia following behind.

He kept walking until his thoughts were calmer.

Until they found themselves at a fountain in a park, somewhere, he only barely knew where.

He sat down by the fountain's edge and crossed his arms, staring into nothing.

[[ for those who are here. ]]

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[betterthanaplan]

Duke, who was only at best half-asleep, because sleeping on the couch like this really wasn't terribly comfortable.

He didn't say anything about it, didn't ask questions. Just tightened his grip a little to let Lucifer know he was still there. Still not going anywhere. If he'd known Lucifer was thinking it was just his own issues that made him cling like this, he'd . . . well. Probably call Lucifer an idiot and keep clinging anyway.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer let himself believe Duke was still asleep. He lowered his face gently into the crook of Duke's neck.

He couldn't stop thinking about the look on Father's face. That infuriatingly sad non-answer. He thought about being so young and believing himself surrounded by love until it all came to a sudden, crashing end. The repressed hope Dad would one day come around and shine that light on him again.

The dashed hope of another light, rejecting him because of Father. And the knowledge that now he had to let go of yet another hope, not because it was being taken from him, but because Father, again, and how He'd made them, and--

And he didn't want to go back to Hell.

His eyes were watering again.

He made a soft, pained noise.

[betterthanaplan]

This was not the way Duke had ever anticipated Lucifer breaking his heart.

Duke held on a little tighter. He didn't make any noise, didn't try to soothe him -- he'd just try to swallow it down, and Duke knew that sometimes you just had to let this shit out.

So he let Lucifer think he was sleeping, but refused to let Lucifer think he was alone.

[my_own_advocate]

After a moment, Lucifer's arm snuck out of that blanket burrito and slid around Duke's waist.

His body shook with a soundless sob - more than one, actually.

He shouldn't. Not here, not now. He should be licking his wounds in private.

But he'd started, and there was no taking it back.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke shifted a little, burrowing more firmly against Lucifer. He was wide awake now, and maybe plotting some way to murder God.

But since that was deeply unlikely to ever happen—and might actually backfire and hurt Lucifer more—he was happy to serve as a big warm teddy bear for his boyfriend to cry into.

It was almost reassuring in a way. Not that Lucifer was crying, but that he trusted Duke enough to do so holding him. Even if he didn’t know Duke was awake while he did it.

[my_own_advocate]

Eventually, Lucifer settled. His miserable, self-loathing thoughts spun themselves into useless circles until they burned away, leaving only the exhaustion behind.

He wasn't sure if he was falling back asleep or just drifting, exactly.

He hadn't given in to Duke's arms around him before, but now that he had, he had no desire to extract himself. So he stayed there, face tucked into Duke's neck, on the precipice of sleep.

Or perhaps right into it.